End of my tether and sanity... :(

I've finally reached the end of my tether. 6 months of fighting at feeds, battling to get munchkin to take a bottle, tears, anxiety and stress... I genuinely need a solution ASAP. So I've decided to ask the doctor to try her on medication for reflux. I've avoided it for long enough and tbh if her feeds don't improve soon ill be on meds myself to battle depression, it's that bad. Today I filmed my morning fight to feed her and posted it in the reflux Facebook group. All the mums immediately said that's exactly how their babies reacted an they feel for me... and to ask for omeprazole ASAP. So tomorrow I'm insisting on the soonest appointment and requesting medication for her. I say I can't do this anymore but fact is I have no choice. It's keep going or she'd starve. But that doesn't make it any easier. I feel like I've hated the first 6 month of her life. Seeing photos of friends with their babies enjoying swimming or play dates, whilst we're stuck indoors at my mum and dads, fighting to get her to drink. I feel like she isn't as affectionate with me because I'm constantly trying to get her to do something she doesn't want to do. I just want to enjoy my child and so far, I haven't.

So tomorrow I'm begging for a doctors appointment and I'm getting ranitidine or omeprazole and she IS going to get better. Because I can't do THIS 5-10 times a day, for anywhere up to an hour at a time, ANY MORE!!! :(