Germ-a-phobe

I have the biggest germ-a-phobe sitting opposite me on the train this morning. I would take a photo of her, but after the cool dude with flowery handbag incident, i dont have the balls. Anyway, people who know me, know i sneeze. Not like normal people, i dont just achoo once, nooo... I sneeze 6 or 7 times, in a row, like an AK-47. Anyway, heres me sat on my train, happily sipping my coffee from my plastic mug covered in cute cartoon stickers, and i feel a machine gun attack of the sneezes coming on. I cover my mouth and rattle them off. The woman opposite me looks at me in horror and quick as lightening, grabs a tissue from her pocket and covers her mouth. Er ok, i know were supposedly in the grips of a swine flu epidemic, but i felt a bit offended! Anyway, as the train has filled up, shes resorted to going for the wild west billy the kid look with her scarf tied round her nose and mouth. Stupid thing is, if she were in Hong Kong, she could wear a surgical mask without getting a second look, but over here, her black chenille scarf donned bank robber stylee just looks ridiculous! And i dont HAVE swine flu! Her flu avoidance tactics arent quite as ridiculous as the tips i read which stated that germs enter your body via mouth, nose and ears, so apparently when in public, if someone sneezes we should cover nose and mouth (sensible) and SQUINT! yes, thats right, squint. Never mind the fact youre likely to walk under a moving bus, youll be germ free when you get squished! Idiocy! That was genuine advice! What the f.......!

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