Welcome to the world Su Yin Fung!

I'd like to introduce my (extremely cute, even for a new born, and not just because I'm biased, she really is mega mega squeeze her cheeks cute) 5 day old daughter! After 14 hours of labour, the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life and some hairy scary moments, she was finally delivered weighing 6lbs on 30th August!

The birth was amazing and agony. I was a few days over due so induced (meaning they gave me a pessary containing drugs to force start labour). At first the contractions were painful cramps but nothing I couldn't handle, and although I have nothing to compare it to I'm going to guess that when they say labour pains are way more extreme when you're induced is true. Gas and air was just about taking the edge off and I was reaching my pain threshold, then they broke my waters. After that, contractions were so strong I began to get pins and needles in my face and felt faint from the pain. All my plans for no pain relief went out the window and I couldn't get an epidural fast enough!! Even after it was administered, I could still feel the contractions and had to use gas and air to numb the peak of them.

Unfortunately when they broke my waters they discovered my little monkey had pooed (a sign of distress) and as my labour progressed her heart rate started dropping. Lots of concerned faces and a doctor later, they were strapping my legs in to stirrups (yes they actually real, just like in the movies!) and urging me to PUSH! Shame I couldn't tell if I was pushing or not, the epidural had numbed my "under carriage" and I couldn't feel a thing... a blessing really as I then also didn't feel the doctor perform an episiotomy (a cut from the vagina towards the anus. Ow). Lucky it did the trick and she popped out and went straight on to my chest. The most amazing and weird experience ever!

Since the birth, it's been a roller coaster of emotions. I can't stop looking at her, wanting to pick her up and smell her (babies just smell YUM! Especially their heads!). But it's not all been rosy. From day one she wouldn't take to the breast, and I ended up being told by the midwife in the labour ward she had to feed within 24 hours and to give her formula. Then I had conflicting advice from the breast feeding specialists who said I should have persevered with trying to get her to breast feed. 5 days in and I've tried everything, from hand expressing and feeding her using a cup, syringes and tea spoons (which all got way too laborious and time consuming, not to mention the amount of wind she was swallowing with each), to using an electric pump every hour and feeding her via a bottle (which the midwife and breast feeding consultants were against as she may never then take to the breast, but it's so much easier and faster than trying to feed her 60ml of expressed breast milk using 1ml syringes!).

Pumping every hour is exhausting though, and with all the will in the world, trying to do the skin to skin contact and repeatedly putting her to the breast in between feeds just isn't sustainable. I don't get any sleep (I think I had 2 hours in 3 days at first!) and she gets too angry and red and upset that I just get stressed on top of tired. I can see formula creeping back in to her feeding regime very shortly, just so I can have my sanity back and the ability to do other things (like shower, go to the toilet, you know, the luxuries of life!) in between sitting uncomfortably on a very sore episiotomy scar, expressing milk every hour (including over night) just to keep up with her seemingly insatiable appetite!

But with all that said, she's still amazing and perfect. It's crazy how one little person can change your life forever. Hubby has been wonderful, changing nappies and being a natural at holding her and caring for her as well as being mega supportive, and my mum has been staying with us helping, showing me how to bathe her, sharing the sleepless nights and looking after me. Dads been cooking too, which is such a big help. I don't know what I'd do without them! Everyone's lives have been affected by this sleepy (actually comatose... another reason it's so hard to feed her!) little bundle of cuteness!




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