Things I wish I'd known

So I was thinking today of all the mistakes I've made as I was growing up, and all the things I wished someone had told me... and if hit me that it's down to me to make sure I give that advice to my daughter now I'm a parent... So I'm writing it all down now (premature I know!) before, in my baby brained fuddle of hormones, I forget the gems I want to pass on... So munchkin, here's mummy's advice regarding boys for when you grow up...

1. When you get to liking boys, and I know you don't like them one bit right now, but one day you will (unless you decide you like girls and that's fine too!), let them chase after you. Play hard to get. Don't give in too easily and make them work for your affections. If they truly like you for who you are, they'll go the extra mile. If they don't, then they don't deserve you. Don't rush into a physical relationship either. Make him wait. It's not something to take lightly and if he loves you he won't mind. 

2. The chase is the best part. Ok not strictly true, as everything that comes after, if you listened to number 1, will be pretty fantastic, but nothing beats those honeymoon phase dates, the anticipation of waiting for a text (or whatever channel of social media you'll be using in 30 - yes 30! - years time) and the butterflies in your tummy you'll get when you think about him.

3. If he gambles, is bad with money or lies, walk away. Fast. He may be perfect in every other way, but money problems and trust issues will erode any positives until you won't be able to get past the negatives. Not being able to trust someone emotionally or financially is a deal breaker. You don't want to end up in 80 years time a widow with crippling debts and losing your home because your husband secretly gambled away all your life savings on the stock market or the horses (in my opinion both as bad as each other!). 

4. Meet the parents. When you find the love of your life, I can't stress how important it is to meet the potential in-laws. You may end up having to look after them or live with them one day, or financially support them. When you marry someone you don't just marry them, you marry their entire family. Never underestimate the future impact they may have on your life. If they have money problems or gambling problems, think long and hard about whether you want to marry into a family with baggage. Ok every family has some baggage, no one is perfect, but some are handbag size and some are a couple of suitcases worth. Do your homework and choose wisely.

5. The most important of all... NEVER let a boy undermine your sense of self worth. The instant he tells you you're ugly, or that if you leave him you'll be alone forever, LEAVE. If he hits you, emotionally blackmails or abuses you, have the strength of character and faith in yourself to walk away. There will always be someone out there who will treat you like you deserve to be treated and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Any kind of verbal or physical abuse is not ok and your family will always be there for you.