Deciding on a doula

When I was pregnant with my first child I took weekly bump photos, could quote exactly what week and how many days pregnant I was and read up on everything from feeding techniques to birthing... this time round I can't even honestly tell you with confidence what my due date is (I think it's 26th June but could be 28th?!). So the third trimester has crept up on me and I had a bit of a blind panic when I realised I only have a matter of weeks left until I'm due to give birth. This time round I've been keen to avoid the negative experience I had last time with an induced hospital room delivery with a surly midwife who waved off our concerns about SY's dropping heart rate and an unpleasant episiotomy. Mum suggested looking in to a doula, something which I'd never heard of before, and the more I looked in to it the more I liked the idea. A doula is a non medically trained woman who provides impartial advice and support in the lead up to, during and after the birth. They do a lot of what a midwife should probably do but don't have the time to do, especially considering you rarely see the same midwife at each antenatal appointment or even during delivery. Once I'd made up my mind to have a doula at the delivery, I frantically posted on Facebook asking for recommendations and after a flurry of emails and a lot of replies stating they were unavailable (a lot of doulas wont accept more than one woman a month in case they both go in to labour on the same day), I found a handful who were available and happy to meet up. Doulas suggest you meet face to face to see if you "click". Having a complete stranger there during the birth, you want someone who you feel confident will make you feel comfortable, will be able and capable to represent and speak on your behalf, comfort and relax you and provide support. I met with 3 doulas, but I knew straight away that Hannah was the one I wanted at the birth. She has an amazing vibe, was knowledgeable, experienced and interesting, knew her stuff, very into alternative therapies and made me feel like I could generally hang out and make friends with this person! She asked me lots of questions about my previous birth experience, talked me through her experiences and journey and what the next steps would be if I decided to go ahead. I emailed her to confirm the same night! Hannah has said she'll be able to provide me with reading and information on the different things that can happen in birth and what my options are, what is essential and what I do and don't have to consent to (like being induced for example!), advise me on techniques for birth, talk me through any past trauma I may be holding on to from SY's birth and her first reflux ridden year, and help me let go of any anxieties to help this time round be as positive and as enjoyable as it can be. She's already emailed me background information on GBS and the pros and cons of antibiotics if I test positive again, alternatives to antibiotics and suggested writing down my past trauma to read to her and help let go. I   never had that sense of euphoria most mums feel post birth, was left feeling abandoned with no support or help with breastfeeding and didn't really bond with my new baby for the first year and a half. This time round I want it to be better, and after agreeing to have Hannah involved I already feel excited about second time round! 

Deciding on having a doula who can inform my choices without judgement, help protect the birthing experience (and the "golden hour" post birth to promote skin to skin and provide me with breastfeeding support) and also relieve the hubs of some of that responsibility so he can also enjoy the experience this time, is probably the best decision I've made so far. It's already had a massively positive effect on my mental wellbeing. Let's just hope that it all goes a bit more smoothly this time round! 5 weeks and counting!