The most basic of wishes

Rant coming... I need to vent!

It's such a basic thing, to want your child to eat. But it's a HUGE issue when your child doesn't. And I'm not talking about a fussy child who will only eat junk, or refuses to eat their vegetables. I'm talking about a child who refuses to eat. Full stop. Will. Not. Eat. 

Ok, I know that every child has their issues. There's no such thing as the perfect baby (although I'm convinced some people having bloody lucky!). Some are clingy. Some don't sleep. But give me sleep deprivation any day over a child who refuses to do the most essential and basic of skills... eat. At least if I'm shattered, it's me that's suffering. At least I could get someone to take over for a few hours so I could recover. Feeding refusal is SO much worse. I know plenty of parents who would disagree with that statement, but believe me, I've been that sleep deprived parent as well as one who has had to cope with feeding issues, and the refusal to eat really is so much worse. When your child refuses to feed themselves, the control is out of your hands. You can't force them. You can't make them. At this age you can't even reason with them. 12 months, almost 13 months old, and she still spits everything out. It's like she has a total aversion to swallowing.

And I know all the "helpful" advice I get from other parents is well meaning, but they just don't understand. They don't get it because they haven't been through it. Having a child who has refused to eat for a week because of teething does not qualify you to give advice on how to get a child with severe eating issues and swallowing aversion to eat. Yes, I have tried finger foods and baby led weaning. Yes, I have tried eating at the same time and offering my own food. Yes, I've tried home made food and yes, I've tried pouches and jars. No, seeing other babies does not make her want to eat. And NO, being more forceful and ramming the spoon in her mouth will NOT make her eat more (seriously some of the "advice" I've been given is shocking and likely to scar her emotionally even more!).

The jealousy I feel when I hear mums complain "he just won't stop eating!" or "she made such a colossal mess feeding herself!" totally burns me up inside. I'd happily have food splattered carpet if my munchkin would eat a bowl of food. I hate that other people's pride in their child's massive appetites just makes me green with envy! 

Even the comments meant to make me feel better about the whole situation make me feel crap. The constant "well, she looks very healthy and happy, so don't worry" comments just make me want to reply with "seriously, if your child was 1 year old and still not eating a single mouthful of solid food, would YOU not be worrying?". Ok that's unfair on the people who've said that to me. It's just that it's so frustrating. The whole situation is so frustrating. I KNOW she will eat eventually, at some point. She HAS to as surely she can't survive indefinitely solely on baby formula as she does now. But WHEN is she going to start eating. I have genuine fears we'll reach 2 and she still wont't be eating solids... and it scares me that I don't think I'm being melodramatic. It's a genuine fear. 

It's such a simple desire, to want to see your child eat. Even if she was surviving on chips and ketchup right now I'd be over the moon. I just want her to eat. Something. Anything. 

Ok rant over!