Well meaning but you don't understand...
Having a possible reflux/CMPI (cows milk protein intolerant) baby that refuses to feed is tough. But getting people to understand is tougher. Friends and family alike will make comments like "she's such a happy smiley baby, maybe you should just relax a little?" and "but she looks healthy and chubby enough, stop worrying". What they don't realise is that she looks healthy because I spend hours at a time trying to get any amount of milk down her. If I didn't, she would be losing weight, not gaining it. It's a continual battle to get her to drink enough to even stay hydrated some days. Let me describe my typical day right now:
7am: wake up, wake munchkin up, make her bottle, try and get her to drink some, which these days never works. Get both of us dressed.
7:40: feed her some purée
7:45: spend 45 minutes trying to get her to drink anything, usually with limited success. She might drink 30ml at a time with TV on, then pushes the bottle away, so I put her in the jumperoo or on her playmat for 10 minutes, try again. Sometimes she'll drink, sometimes she won't. Will usually try 3 or 4 times.
8:30: nap time. Spend half an hour to an hour trying to get her to drink, by waiting til she's deep enough asleep and switching the bottle with the dummy. Usually takes 5-6 attempts, up to half an hour to get her to start drinking. If she's not deep enough asleep she turns her head, pushes the bottle away and fusses so I have to put the dummy back to settle her and wait for her to fall back asleep. Once I do get her drinking, after 60-100ml she stops and I have to start the whole process again, switching dummy and bottle and several attempts.
9:30: go to mum and dads. Playtime!
11:00: nap time again. First I try to get her to drink watching TV. If that doesn't work (which it usually doesn't) then it's back to half an hour to an hour of dummy/bottle switching.
11:30-12: playtime
1:00: if she hasn't drunk anything at 11 then I try and feed her again at this nap
1:30-2: playtime
3:00: nap time and attempting to feed
3:30-4: playtime
5:00: nap time and again if she's hardly drink then this is another time to attempt to get her to drink.
6:30: go home
7:00: bed time and again feed asleep
8:00: cook dinner, eat, shower
11:00: another feed asleep
12:30: bed
On a good day she'll only need feeding at 8:30, 11, 3, 7 and 11. On a bad day when she's not drinking enough (like 60ml a go) then it's 8:30, 11, 1, 3, 5, 7 and 11. It's exhausting. And I have to get laundry, sterilising and household chores done in between. Going out is out of the question as I never know if she'll drink ok throughout the day and the slightest noise stirs her and stops her drinking... which is frustrating to say the least when you've spent an hour trying to get her to start!! Even the mail being delivered wakes her up and stops her drinking. God forbid if someone rings the doorbell!!
I've had all sorts of well meaning comments, from "a baby will never starve itself, just wait for her to get hungry" (yeah tried that, she went 8 hours from 11am to 8pm and still wouldn't drink so had to feed her whilst asleep or she'd end up dehydrated), to "maybe she's picking up on your anxiety" (well everyone else who's tried to feed her has failed to get her to drink anything so I don't think the problem is me!). I've had friends offer to try to feed her, suggestions to feed her evaporated milk (seriously?!)... all well meaning but no one understands apart from hubby and my parents.
People just don't seem to understand that it's really not normal for a baby to never be hungry and refuse to drink. Whatever her temperament is between feeds, whatever she looks like or how healthy she looks (and yes she looks chubby but she's tiny for her age and keeps getting mistaken for a 3 month old baby when she's actually over 5!), there is something definitely wrong. She should be starving after 8 hours. Yes she will drink eventually if she's starving, but she'll stop after a few hundred mls and a baby can't survive on 300ml a day when they're supposed to be drinking 900ml or more to grow.
Anyway, rant over. Just have to carry on and pray that the dietician has a magical answer.
7am: wake up, wake munchkin up, make her bottle, try and get her to drink some, which these days never works. Get both of us dressed.
7:40: feed her some purée
7:45: spend 45 minutes trying to get her to drink anything, usually with limited success. She might drink 30ml at a time with TV on, then pushes the bottle away, so I put her in the jumperoo or on her playmat for 10 minutes, try again. Sometimes she'll drink, sometimes she won't. Will usually try 3 or 4 times.
8:30: nap time. Spend half an hour to an hour trying to get her to drink, by waiting til she's deep enough asleep and switching the bottle with the dummy. Usually takes 5-6 attempts, up to half an hour to get her to start drinking. If she's not deep enough asleep she turns her head, pushes the bottle away and fusses so I have to put the dummy back to settle her and wait for her to fall back asleep. Once I do get her drinking, after 60-100ml she stops and I have to start the whole process again, switching dummy and bottle and several attempts.
9:30: go to mum and dads. Playtime!
11:00: nap time again. First I try to get her to drink watching TV. If that doesn't work (which it usually doesn't) then it's back to half an hour to an hour of dummy/bottle switching.
11:30-12: playtime
1:00: if she hasn't drunk anything at 11 then I try and feed her again at this nap
1:30-2: playtime
3:00: nap time and attempting to feed
3:30-4: playtime
5:00: nap time and again if she's hardly drink then this is another time to attempt to get her to drink.
6:30: go home
7:00: bed time and again feed asleep
8:00: cook dinner, eat, shower
11:00: another feed asleep
12:30: bed
On a good day she'll only need feeding at 8:30, 11, 3, 7 and 11. On a bad day when she's not drinking enough (like 60ml a go) then it's 8:30, 11, 1, 3, 5, 7 and 11. It's exhausting. And I have to get laundry, sterilising and household chores done in between. Going out is out of the question as I never know if she'll drink ok throughout the day and the slightest noise stirs her and stops her drinking... which is frustrating to say the least when you've spent an hour trying to get her to start!! Even the mail being delivered wakes her up and stops her drinking. God forbid if someone rings the doorbell!!
I've had all sorts of well meaning comments, from "a baby will never starve itself, just wait for her to get hungry" (yeah tried that, she went 8 hours from 11am to 8pm and still wouldn't drink so had to feed her whilst asleep or she'd end up dehydrated), to "maybe she's picking up on your anxiety" (well everyone else who's tried to feed her has failed to get her to drink anything so I don't think the problem is me!). I've had friends offer to try to feed her, suggestions to feed her evaporated milk (seriously?!)... all well meaning but no one understands apart from hubby and my parents.
People just don't seem to understand that it's really not normal for a baby to never be hungry and refuse to drink. Whatever her temperament is between feeds, whatever she looks like or how healthy she looks (and yes she looks chubby but she's tiny for her age and keeps getting mistaken for a 3 month old baby when she's actually over 5!), there is something definitely wrong. She should be starving after 8 hours. Yes she will drink eventually if she's starving, but she'll stop after a few hundred mls and a baby can't survive on 300ml a day when they're supposed to be drinking 900ml or more to grow.
Anyway, rant over. Just have to carry on and pray that the dietician has a magical answer.
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