Dealing with PND

Risking being told "I over share" and "make myself seem vulnerable" blah blah but frankly I feel this stuff NEEDS to be shared and said, so that other women who are going through the same things know that they're not alone, it's really common, they're not bad mums and they need to ask for support. 

A woman on my local mums group posted this. This was me when I was on maternity leave with SY. Except I think I was worse. I even experienced this with Daisy on mat leave to a lesser extent. I hated it. I regretted having a baby. I cried and cried in the mornings (and all day) under the duvet and couldn't get up. I cried through feeds. I cried through meals. I couldn't wait to go back to work and hand her to someone else to deal with. I felt like I had no bond with her for a long time (even though I loved her). I felt like I was a terrible mum. I was wracked with guilt for hating being a mum and maternity leave felt like an endless black hole of counting minutes between feeds. I didn't get professional help. I blundered through with the amazing help from my mum. But I should have spoken to my GP. Because I didn't I still suffer from anxiety taking my kids out or doing anything with them and I still have feelings of being a rubbish mum. A couple of weeks ago on a Friday was the FIRST time I spent the day with daisy and took her out just the two of us and ENJOYED it. She's 2.5 years old. 

My point is... if you're feeling this way...

- you're not alone. There's a lot of us like you.

- you're not a bad mum. You're suffering from post partum depression.

- it's ok to admit it and ask for help. Professional help.

- you're not mad. You're not insane. 

- don't feel guilty. 

To all the mums who struggle, I salute you. Medical problems, sleeping problems, no problems, whatever your situation is, it's HARD being a mum. Be kind to yourself and ask for help. Xxx