Terrible 2's ahoy!

I think we may be approaching the dreaded terrible twos. The warning signs are becoming more and more apparent and my superstitious mind is thinking the stubborn behaviour is probably not helped by the fact I have a Leo Dragon baby (google zodiac signs for more on that!). So, what are the warning signs (aside from the scratched face and head butted and blistering lip....)?

1. Everything is NO. Ok admittedly she's been saying that to everything for months and months. Think it may have been her first coherent word. But now it's said with conviction. And a shove. Usually in your face. 

2. Being told no doesn't go down well when the tables are turned. Telling munchkin no usually means something I call "the glare". Seriously, how a 19 month old can perfect a dirty look baffles (and equally impressed and scares) me. This is quickly followed by "the strike". If aimed at me or the unfortunate person doing the telling off, then it's normally a half hearted swipe.... kind of testing the waters. But otherwise any inanimate object (sofa, chair, any piece of furniture will do really) gets a full force whack. Whilst not taking her eyes off you. You KNOW she's imagining that armchair is your face. *shudder*

3. She's turned bipolar. One minute she's all "mummy! Mummy!" hugs and cuddles. The next it's angry playing, throwing toys around the play room and stomping crayons into my poor living room rug. 

4. Constant demanding and changing her mind. She's learned the art of women's prerogative at an early age. Half the time she doesn't even know what she wants herself! In the space of 60 seconds she's asked for "dee dee (TV), muk (milk), dummy (yeah ads got that one out nice and clear!), buk-kah (book), daddy (who she's point blank refused to even look at all morning before he left for work, resulting in him lookin rather injured and offended as she left to catch the bus), dips (chips) and duck (god forbid you mention that one of your own accord or she'll go on about it for days until you relent and take her to see them). Of course when you offer her any of the above, she'll forcefully shove them away. Unless it's a dummy. Or TV. She'll never say no to either.

5. Screeching. God I hope she's not going to be one of those kids who screeches and screams to get what she wants. It's infrequent but every now and then she gets frustrated and screams this really annoying ear splitting high pitched scream. All she needs to learn now and the foot stomp and she'll be a living mini version of Violet Beauregarde. Minus the blueberry appearance.

6. No one is allowed to rest. Or sit. Or do anything she doesn't want them to. Sit too long in one place, or in the wrong place, and she'll grab your hand, demand "uppa uppa uppa!" and drag you to somewhere she wants to sit, where she'll shove you down. Unless she's dragging you somewhere to make you get something for her. Little bossy boots. 

7. Tantrums. Ok so far we haven't had many of these, but im bracing myself for the moment we have an all out melt down. Probably somewhere public. Usually these are restricted to either getting her coat on (if she doesn't want to go out) or screaming and going stiff as a board and refusing to bend in the middle, so you can't get her into the damn car seat. Have you ever tried to bend a toddler in the middle with one arm whilst trying to hold two sides of a car seatbelt clasp with the other and therefore no third arm to hold the socket the stupid clasp goes into, all the while being beaten by tiny fists? Yeah. That. Not fun. Almost tempting to use a foot just to wedge them in! Same goes for buggy resistance!

8. You are not allowed to touch anything she's riding on. If she's sitting in the trolly, god forbid you try and hold it and steer. Your fingers will be pried off the handle and you will be forced to steer using your belly, whilst trying to sneak a hand onto the sides to avoid crashing into shelves of Heinz baked beans or the like. Even worse if she gets it into her head that he wants to push the buggy. Trying to hold a toddler whilst she holds the buggy handles, and NOT careering into the nearest unsuspecting member of the public/road/near by car is a pretty impossible feat. But somehow you manage it. Because it's easier than dealing with a tantrum!

Ok so I've made my daughter sound like a monster, but really she's not THAT bad. I forgive her the mouth ulcers she's inflicted from head butting me, the scratched lip from the cat-like swipes at my face, the stained rug from the blueberries thrown from the high chair and pink crayon she decided to do a dance on top of. My eye bags may be bigger than Kim Kardashian's luggage and my nose may be bunged from catching her numerous colds thanks to her chewing on raisins and then deciding she no longer wants them, spits them out and shoves them in my mouth (gross. And yes. She does do that. Often), but it's all worth while when she waddles up to me, climbs into my lap, wraps her arms around my neck and snuggles her head into my shoulder. 

But yeah. Can't wait til she stops being so angry!