Mind your manners!
Maybe it's because I grew up in a Chinese household (albeit half!), or maybe it's just because my parents instilled a certain level of etiquette in me as a child, but this news article in the Metro struck a chord with me this morning and I had my usual "going to HAVE to blog that!" urge.
For those of you outside London (or the UK) who don't have access to The Metro newspaper (our daily free commuters friend... a halfway house between a trashy gossip mag and a paper reporting on current affairs), the article reported on a rather cheesed off mother-in-law-to-be (hereafter abbreviated to MIL2B just because I'm writing this on my iPhone and it's too long to retype over and over!!) who after having her son's fiancée round for dinner, was so incensed by the girl's lack of good manners, decided to email her and tell her exactly what she thought. Of course, the fiancee hit 'forward' and the email went viral, spamming inboxes worldwide.
What prompted me to blog was that the MIL2B is painted to be something of a bit of a witch, victimising the poor fiancee and resorting to name calling. Ok, I admit as a bride-to-be myself, it's got to be upsetting and pretty unpleasant to receive an email from your future mother-in-law, effectively telling you you have no manners and need some lessons... but... after reading the email in question, I have to side with MIL2B! If the girl did indeed do all of those things, I'd be mightily offended too!
Maybe it's a sign of my age (I suspect when I turned 30, the grumpy gene got activated and I am now automatically inclined to tut at school children who jump the bus queue and put their feet on seats)... maybe it's because Chinese culture is pretty strict when it comes to manners and respect, particularly when involving food and dining (food is all important in Chinese culture!), but as I read through the email I found myself nodding along in agreement, tutting my disapproval with each aggrievance listed.
What surprised me the most, was that the points MIL2B wrote about, are all things I notice frequently amongst (and here comes the controversial bit) my non-Chinese/Asian acquaintances! Chinese friends and family know that you don't take additional helpings of food at someone else's house without being offered first... or that you shouldn't start eating before everyone else (you usually wait for someone to tell you to start eating, with the obligatory "sic fan", literally "eat rice"). What I hadn't realised was that these points of manners are not the reserve of the Chinese, but English as well... just that I never SEE anyone observe them other than my family or Chinese friends. Don't get me wrong, I'm not accusing all non-Asians of being uncouth heathens! I'm purely remarking that Chinese culture has a lot of rules in regards to manners and etiquette which are still observed today. I just never realised that they were common with western etiquette too as no one seems to adhere to them!
I wonder who's side other readers would take when they read the article. As far as I'm concerned, although perhaps she could have perhaps been a little less caustic and blunt, the MIL2B seemed to have a fair point. Bad manners seem to be accepted as the way people these days behave. Men hardly hold open doors, kids barely say please and thank you (a real bugbear of mine) and even the classic British urge to queue seems to be a tad wooly as soon as a bus arrives at a stop.
One thing is for sure... my son or daughter will NEVER be accuses of bad manners because I'll instill in them the correct way to behave.
Anyway, here's the offending email for you to read. You can view the full Metro article online here!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
For those of you outside London (or the UK) who don't have access to The Metro newspaper (our daily free commuters friend... a halfway house between a trashy gossip mag and a paper reporting on current affairs), the article reported on a rather cheesed off mother-in-law-to-be (hereafter abbreviated to MIL2B just because I'm writing this on my iPhone and it's too long to retype over and over!!) who after having her son's fiancée round for dinner, was so incensed by the girl's lack of good manners, decided to email her and tell her exactly what she thought. Of course, the fiancee hit 'forward' and the email went viral, spamming inboxes worldwide.
What prompted me to blog was that the MIL2B is painted to be something of a bit of a witch, victimising the poor fiancee and resorting to name calling. Ok, I admit as a bride-to-be myself, it's got to be upsetting and pretty unpleasant to receive an email from your future mother-in-law, effectively telling you you have no manners and need some lessons... but... after reading the email in question, I have to side with MIL2B! If the girl did indeed do all of those things, I'd be mightily offended too!
Maybe it's a sign of my age (I suspect when I turned 30, the grumpy gene got activated and I am now automatically inclined to tut at school children who jump the bus queue and put their feet on seats)... maybe it's because Chinese culture is pretty strict when it comes to manners and respect, particularly when involving food and dining (food is all important in Chinese culture!), but as I read through the email I found myself nodding along in agreement, tutting my disapproval with each aggrievance listed.
What surprised me the most, was that the points MIL2B wrote about, are all things I notice frequently amongst (and here comes the controversial bit) my non-Chinese/Asian acquaintances! Chinese friends and family know that you don't take additional helpings of food at someone else's house without being offered first... or that you shouldn't start eating before everyone else (you usually wait for someone to tell you to start eating, with the obligatory "sic fan", literally "eat rice"). What I hadn't realised was that these points of manners are not the reserve of the Chinese, but English as well... just that I never SEE anyone observe them other than my family or Chinese friends. Don't get me wrong, I'm not accusing all non-Asians of being uncouth heathens! I'm purely remarking that Chinese culture has a lot of rules in regards to manners and etiquette which are still observed today. I just never realised that they were common with western etiquette too as no one seems to adhere to them!
I wonder who's side other readers would take when they read the article. As far as I'm concerned, although perhaps she could have perhaps been a little less caustic and blunt, the MIL2B seemed to have a fair point. Bad manners seem to be accepted as the way people these days behave. Men hardly hold open doors, kids barely say please and thank you (a real bugbear of mine) and even the classic British urge to queue seems to be a tad wooly as soon as a bus arrives at a stop.
One thing is for sure... my son or daughter will NEVER be accuses of bad manners because I'll instill in them the correct way to behave.
Anyway, here's the offending email for you to read. You can view the full Metro article online here!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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